Last Saturday, May 16th, the big guy, tank manager, waste disposal expert, long haul RV’er, and bread winner, had a significant birthday. He completed his 70th decade of life. This fella is a gem. I knew it when I met him because he did all the required ‘manly’ things I longed for in a husband.
He opened car doors
Held my chair
Took my hand
Put his arm around me protectively
Paid for everything!
Changed my tire without being asked
Complimented me often
Showed up when he said he would
Consistently cared for my needs
Made me laugh!
I was all of 22 years old so my list was fairly shallow and simple. But it was 1981 and women had been publicly campaigning for equal rights since the 60’s. Finding guys with chivalrous attentions was getting to be a little bit challenging. For me it was a hill to die on. My dad opened my mom’s car door for over 50 years, I wasn’t giving it up easily.
When I realized we’d be in Terre Haute on his actual birthday, and that there were people who might venture our way from parts abroad, I knew I wanted to throw him a party. Not a surprise party, but one that would bring together those who love and respect him enough to make the trip, and contribute to honoring him in meaningful ways. I also knew it would be a big ask, and likely to be co-opted by end of school year events or other big distractions.
But I took a chance anyway.
After enlisting help from our youngest for ideas on how to show him how he is valued, I landed on a BBQ theme. Weather in May being what it is, I knew an outdoor BBQ wasn’t a smart idea. But I have this cousin, who has a husband, who lives about an hour from us, that does Pit Master style pulled pork.
It did not disappoint!
Lots of side dishes, and help with decor from a precious ‘adopted’ daughter gave me the right amount of direction. Hobby Lobby supplies, an Amazon order, and the free club room at the campground tied it all together. When asked for a picture of Bruce as a kid I rooted around in a cupboard that I’d stored our family photos in. Turned out I brought all those sentimental pics with us! We were able to display them on party day and used one for an entrance sign.
We had about 20 people, including 5 small kiddos. Bruce became a defacto grandpa, spending the weekend taking the dog to the dog park, feeding goats and dishing out his best grandpa antics. We played a game about who knew him best, giving him a chance to tell stories about the questions people had to answer. And at any major decade birthday, the temptation to contrast and compare birth year, to whatever decade is being celebrated, can’t be skipped. Slogans and prices were recalled, fun was had.
But what was most special, were the words that people sent, sharing why they love him. Frequent compliments were his humor, honesty, generosity and his love for others. And always his ability to illuminate Kingdom life from temporal life. His spiritual discernment can be unparalleled at times.
Another reason for holding this party in May was his impending surgery. 12 years ago we were in a very bad car accident that shattered his left arm at the shoulder. It actually separated it from the rest of his body. 5 hours of surgery left him with a titanium plate, and about 8 screws holding it all together. Every winter for the first few years, it ached like a son of a gun. Over time he began to loose functionality and movement. This past year has been rough, with pain levels of about 7 (sometimes 9) on a regular basis. We knew he probably needed some kind of surgical repair, so we planned to stay for 3+ months. He scheduled a consult before we arrived and saw a surgeon the first week we were here.
At first this doctor was reluctant to operate on someone else’s fix, apparently it’s a thing. But once he learned how long it had been and what Bruce’s situation was, he agreed to see him. They chatted and he ordered X-rays. AHA! They tell the whole story.
Apparently he rushed to show Bruce the results, presenting him only 2 options. Surgery or narcotics. The top screw was penetrating what was once his shoulder socket, likely causing the worst of his pain. Bruce’s relief at the thought of a fix gave him permission to admit how much he was hurting. From that day on, I heard muttered curses when it was at its worst. He took the first available surgical date, May 19th, 3 days after his birthday.
He is home recuperating, all went well. His doctor was stellar and we are immensely grateful. His nerve block lasted over 24 hours, so today his pain is more severe – enter narcotics. And most importantly he has hope for a pain free future. And maybe he’ll even be able to use his arm for the next decade.
And yes! All of this can be achieved while living in an RV, in a campground. Especially when you’re in one that is familiar, near the shops, restaurants and services you rely on. Where medical care is available and reliable. God has been gracious to us here. From Labor Day 2024, to today we’ve been favored with doctors, a mechanic, helpers, and for me – lots of quilting support, including my Hobby Lobby fabric lady. She asked me when Bruce’s surgery was scheduled (remembering it’s why we came here), and said she’d be praying for him.
This ain’t Illinois anymore! So let the healing begin and summer arrive.
We’re ready.
Leave a Reply