One of the more unique aspects of living life on the road, with only your spouse for company, is the freedom to speak about anything you want, whenever you want. I find myself asking Bruce random questions throughout the day as they pop into my head. Just this morning, before we’d finished our coffee and prayer I asked,
“How much life insurance do you have on yourself?”
Bruce’s initial reply was to roll his eyes, and ask me if I’ve already spent it, (a longarm quilting machine was considered). But the question was born out of a thought process. We have a recently widowed friend whose husband left her with a $500,000 policy, and it’s made her life much easier. I just wondered what mine would be like under similar circumstances.
That’s fair, isn’t it?
I don’t know if it’s a lack of social interaction that has caused me to loose my verbal filter, some would say I never had one, but it’s given Bruce some interesting challenges. With the spring weather bringing swinging temps, he tested our roof HVAC units. The owner’s manual says they also work as heat pumps. I despise these units. Their noise is deafening, and we HAVE to use them in summer to cool the RV. The last thing I want is to hear them in the off season. When I asked Bruce why he kept trying to make them work as heaters, his answer was,
“The manual says they do, so I’m going to figure out why they aren’t.”
Hyper focusing is one of his superpowers. I am content to live with this untapped feature of our ‘manual dictated’ function. One evening, when the temps dropped, I hunted for a blanket, socks and long pj’s in our bedroom. Cold air and noise were blasting from the ceiling unit. My filter disintegrated…
“Really? You want to blow more cold air in here? Like it’s not cold enough? You just have to prove a point? Can’t you let this go?”
I haven’t heard them since…
My filter is non-existent when it comes to the president, the war, congress, inflation, immigration, Christian TV, prophets, end times predictions, errant churches, Christian nationalists, diesel prices, Bruce forgetting to take off his shoes inside, Benji, Milo, traffic…
I’ve adopted a phrase that seems to sum up my attitude toward most of those issues. It indicates that I’ve actually given up, lost hope. Shoes will always track dirt, and Benji will continue to bark at me to get what he wants. Milo will insist on sleeping on the kitchen table (abundantly shedding on it). There will always be errant churches. Can’t do anything about the government, inflation will be what it is, and diesel prices will keep us from the west coast. My original hopes for Iran are facing an uphill battle. And Christian TV will always value profit over truth.
Sigh…
I roll my eyes and spout my mantra, anytime I overhear an optimist suggest a solution to anything. I even use it when I’m watching TV! Last night on Abbot Elementary, someone suggested speaking to the new supervisor to keep the school open, and I couldn’t help myself…
“Good luck with that”
This doesn’t bode well for me. I am not a person who is usually despondent. I’m excellent at panic, (always have been), but ultimately I accept/solve the problem and find optimism again. Lately, not so much.
I know that I’ve always been someone who would say what everyone else was thinking, no thought to the consequences. And I know, in many ways I’ve never had much of a filter, though you wouldn’t believe how much I don’t say! But I have definitely expanded that ‘gift’ and it’s becoming harder and harder to suppress it.
Is this simply age? Lack of social interaction? The condition of the country/church? Mankind’s own lack of social awareness due to its obsession with smart phones?
Probably all of the above.
Speaking without a filter is the privilege of age. Anyone ever have a grandparent, aunt/uncle, neighbor, who reached an age and abandoned their filter? I bet you can remember what they said! Legendary words that are passed down over time. Maybe even re-credited to another elderly relative or friend. When it comes to the government I’m reminded of my Grandpa Bennett,
“Vote’em all out!”
Dittoes Grandpa.
In the meantime, I’m enjoying the birds at our window feeder, setting out pots with flowers, mopping up leaves in the RV from the torrential rains, and enjoying my new sewing machine. I bought it with gold money. Sold off all our unused gold and had enough to buy it when we were in Louisiana. I traded in 2 machines and added enough cash to make it happen. I’m now down to a stationary machine and a, ‘travel to the cult gatherings’ machine. Bliss!
And I am eagerly anticipating Bruce’s 70th birthday party on the 16th. Can’t wait till we are able to see friends, and celebrate this milestone for him. He’s having shoulder replacement surgery on the 19th and counting the days. Just knowing there is a potential repair for his car-accident-shoulder, allowed him to admit how much pain he’s suffered for the past 8 years. Poor guy! He was told 5 years ago by a Chicago doctor who didn’t want to tackle his repair,
“Good luck with that”
He’s been enduring ever since.
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