Post-Summer Ennui Survival

Seven days! Only 7 days till the big even at our place

We’re excited. Our youngest is getting married! The reception is in our backyard. We’ve made 2 IKEA trips, shopped for Bruce’s duds (not a minute too early) and my 3rd bedroom looks like a Pinterest garage sale. Lanterns, candles, vases, ribbons, branches, outdoor games, cupcake stands, doggy foot prints on the white couch…it’s spectacular. Our backyard is under construction. Weeding, Roundup-ing, mums, stacked logs and new trees are on the agenda. Little did we know in March that those fallen trees would provide decor for her day.

S’all good

I have a confession to make, most of July/August I’ve suffered with a severe case of ennui. Allergies, antihistamines, nasty coughing and weariness all complicated by hot, humid and icky weather kept me limp. Me and the dog were couch buddies. I decided to go with it so I marathoned “Elementary” (loved it), read 4 books and napped. Shame on me. But now, September has come. School started. Bible Study Fellowship started. We planned a vacation (miraculous) and we’re a week away from wedding day. Ennui be gone!

Oh to be a fly on the wall when we planned that vacation…

Now that our nest has been mostly empty for an entire year, I’ve had an opportunity to fully experience the “Stubbornness of Bruce.” Love the guy, in most ways he’s accommodating but when it came to vacation-NOT. Mind you, this is only the 2nd vacation we’ve planned in 6 yrs. It took 3 days to choose a place. His requirements? Warm beach for swimming, decent hotel and good food. Simple? Nope. I found many, many places with all inclusive, resort vacation packages and he killed every one of them. Mexico-NEVER! Bahamas-too desert, Florida-too expensive, DR-Nope, Hawaii-too much flight, Belize-Nah. Finally, I landed on Puerto Rico but low and behold, the airport runway was too close when he mapped it on Google (God, e’hem, bless the internet). It left us with Jamaica. Not bad, but I assumed he’d squash it, “I love Jamaica!” Go figure. It required an evening run to Costco for membership renewal so we could book through their travel agent. By the end of the evening it was a done deal and I was exhausted. So, this couple of 35 yrs is taking an all inclusive vacation to Ocho Rios, Jamaica in November. Happy Anniversary to us.

I’m already there

I think part of the ennui I’m battling has tentacles in the current election news cycle. Ever heard the joke about the Word of Faith pastor who lands in hell and says “It’s not hot and I’m not here”? That’s my mantra about our election this year, “I’m not watching and it’s not happening.” For the most part it’s working but it’s leaving me with little to whine about. Whining about politics is a favorite pastime and loosing that is crippling me, I’m co-dependent! We will actually be in Jamaica for this election and I’m not one bit sorry, I could vote today, nothing will change for me. Sadly, I’ve come to the conclusion that our country has much bigger problems than who’s elected President…

Bible Study Fellowship is different this year. I’m not a leader, just an attender. I was toying with the idea of skipping this year but felt impressed to keep my foot in that world. When my leader connected with me I asked, “Are we a mixed age group?” thinking maybe 40’s to early 60’s. She responded, “Oh yes, late 50’s to mid 70’s.” I was floored. I’m not IN my late 50’s!!! And denial is a river in Egypt (sorry). Our first class was Wednesday and I had a chance to meet all these ladies. Out of 15 I think only 6 of us have non-gray hair. Lest you think I’m entirely shallow, I did note that most of these women are BSF veterans, some are former leaders, most have marriages over 30yrs old and all are committed believers. So while I may not be among the youngsters, it appears I’m grouped with my, dare I say it-peers.

Sigh…my mid-life crisis is in full swing.

Summer hasn’t provided me with any sense of spiritual enlightenment. I’ve merely survived it, but maybe there is a case in defense of survival. Too often I feel our culture pushes us to perfection and the need for creating a life of Successful Destiny. Striving for Excellence has become code, even in churches, for avoiding people with messy lives. The underlying message I hear is that you’re failing if you haven’t found a life calling that provides you with total personal fulfillment (as if fulfilling our person is what Christianity is all about). You might as well tell struggling people to “Get your @#$% together!” Big help right? Kindness demonstrated through unattainable goals.

But Paul, in Ephesians 6 talks about that armor we all wear while battling our enemy. Not only do we have to put it on, we need to wear it–always. And in the end we don’t walk, run, leap or jump to victory.

We stand.

We survive.

We make it to the end.

Maybe our armor is dented and tarnished, bones are weary, head is spinning from the speed of enemy attacks, but we make it whole and protected. All of the weapons needed for survival are provided in that armor. Salvation, faith, Holy Spirit, God’s word to us, the good news of peace. I don’t necessarily find anything dedicated to a Life of Destiny, rather, survival IS our destiny. Anyone who’s seen a current movie depicting historical warfare knows that at best–

It’s messy

So while my summer ennui is waning and my battle with it is, for now, set aside, I’m anticipating a happy and enjoyable wedding with the best of our community of people, who we’ve known and loved for 15+yrs in the warmth and coziness of our backyard. We’ll dine on wonderful food, toast a new couple under the stars, dance (or try) to favorite songs,  and reap the rewards of surviving a hot, humid, allergy laden summer.

No whining allowed








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